My December goal, or, How I learned to dislike push-ups a little less

It's the time of the year when it's appropriate to start talking about 2015 and all of my goals, wishes, and hopes for the new year. Before I get ahead of myself, I wanted to share the secret to my December happiness -- and that's my annual December resolution. The focus of that goal changes depending on what is important to be (believe it or not, my 2012 resolution was around being more social -- what was I thinking?!), but the purpose is that there is no better time than the holidays to recommit to what matters most to you.

This year it was clear to me that I wanted to focus on health and wellness in December. The holidays cause me some stress even if I'm in the best state of mind. I made another quick decision -- I had been toying with the idea of working with a personal trainer again and thought there was no better time to get started. I set a goal of two strength training workouts every week because that's what I skimp on; when push comes to shove, I'll choose a run or the elliptical over pushups any day.

Check out the sweet, sweet reward! 

And, as I've learned from work, I had to find a way to motivate myself to get in better shape. Everyone has a currency -- and if I wanted to change my behavior, I had to tap into it. I started December with a new pair of training shoes (the Nikes) and decided to splurge on new running shoes and gear if I stuck to my goal. New gear aside, I know that I have a very difficult time letting others down, almost to a fault. If I committed to meeting someone at the gym, I could do it, no matter how awful I felt.

I've worked with three or four personal trainers before (not to mention all of the soccer and track coaches over the year), but I can say that so far, Kevin is probably my favorite. From the first time I sat down to chat with him, he seemed knowledgable, determined, but also kind and compassionate. When we were making some small talk during our first session, he mentioned that I was the only woman that he was training.

"Why do you think that is?" I asked, genuinely curious.

"I think women are intimidated by male trainers," he said, honestly.

I tried not to laugh. Kevin is less intimidating than the three female trainers at the gym and is always quick with an encouragement. After our initial "assessment," he was happy to report that I had much better flexibility and balance than most people and we could use that to our advantage.

And then he made me do pushups.

I never want to look like an idiot at the gym (see right). And here I was in the middle of the gym doing my very sad version of weak "girl" pushups. I felt defeated as I did my first set of five. Yes, you read that right -- a set of five.

I was encouraged, though, to learn that I was actually doing them wrong. My entire life I've been doing pushups inefficiently? Does this mean that burpees will suck less too? (Note: I haven't had to do any burpees yet, and Kevin, if somehow you stumble upon this, let's just keep it that way for now...) By turning my arms differently, those pushups still hurt but they hurt much less.

What I've come to appreciate is that having good form and patience leads to a much greater payoff. I was sad to learn that, even after so many trainers, I still was never taught how to do some things either correctly or in a way that made more sense for my body type. Many exercises are designed for a man's body and don't take into consideration simple things that would make exercises easier for women.

Take pullups, my other non-favorite exercise.

I prefer pull-ups where my feet are on the ground.

I'm not yet strong enough to do a pull-up unassisted. Damn you, incredibly strong and awesome quads and glutes, but you slow me down and pull me back to earth. I threw some serious shade when Kevin made me get on the pull-up machine. Much of my frustration, I learned, is because the grips are really wide and are designed for a male body and not for my narrow shoulders. A wider grip takes away some of my strength!

Now, before you tell me that I'm limiting myself, I'll agree with you. I can work really hard and get stronger and some day, I could do one-armed pushups -- if that's what I wanted. But I'm not going to turn into a CrossFitter and I'm not going to spend my life in the gym or the box. Unlike the way that I used to work out, I've got a different mindset. I can't attack everything with such fervor and intensity. I can't live a more balanced and healthy life if I'm never satisfied with where I am or if I feel ashamed that I'm not in the shape I once was. These meds make it harder to drop back to my "fighting weight." They make me want to put my whole face in the french fry serving dish at work (don't fret -- I haven't done that. Yet.) or to stick my mouth under the froyo machine. It means I get dizzy or out of breath at odd times and my face turns bright-red when I run and people ask me if I'm okay (generally the answer is yes).

It's not about limits. It's about slow and steady progress towards a goal.

The joy of running. Even when I am out of breath, it makes me feel better.

I surprised myself during the first session. I was able to do more assisted pull-ups than I thought I could. Yesterday, five weeks into strength-training with Kevin, I noticed not only that the pull-ups felt easier and more natural but that I already needed less assistance to do them. I could let my whole body hang and trust that my shoulders and arms and back would pull as one and I would rise.

As you might have guessed, I hit my goal of two strength training sessions per week this month, and because I'm feeling better, I'm sticking with the same goal for next month. It's not sustainable to keep piling new goals on top of a long list of existing goals. I'm going to keep my focus on building strength and have promised myself two new pairs of comfortable yoga pants if I meet my goal again.

I'm thankful for a happy and healthy December and am awe of my body and what it is able to do. And I'm thankful once again for a successful December resolution and am excited to use it as a way to propel myself into 2015.

xo,
Sarah

P.S. Stop by tomorrow to see my final book blog post of 2014, along with the whopping three-digit year-end total. It's been a record year for books and I'm excited to share my final set of favorites!